What you need to know first

The basics of divorce law

No-fault divorce

Since April 2022, England and Wales have operated a no-fault divorce system. This means:

• You don’t need to blame your spouse or give reasons for the breakdown
• You simply confirm that the marriage has irretrievably broken down
• Your spouse cannot contest the divorce just because they disagree with it
• The process is designed to be less confrontational

This was a major change from the previous system, which required citing grounds like adultery or unreasonable behaviour. The aim is to reduce conflict and help couples focus on practical matters rather than apportioning blame.

Divorce is separate from finances and children

Understanding this distinction is crucial. When people talk about “the divorce,” they often mean everything – ending the marriage, dividing money and property, and sorting out arrangements for children.

In legal terms, these are separate processes:

• The divorce – the legal procedure that ends your marriage
• Financial settlement – dividing assets, debts, pensions, and arranging any maintenance
• Children’s arrangements – deciding where children live and how much time they spend with each parent

You might resolve all three quickly and amicably, or one might be straightforward while another takes longer. The divorce itself is often the simplest part.

Key requirements

To apply for divorce in England and Wales:

• Married at least one year – you cannot apply until you’ve been married for at least 12 months
• Marriage recognised in the UK – most overseas marriages are recognised, but some may not be
• Connection to England or Wales – at least one of you must live here, or have your permanent home here

You don’t need your spouse’s permission or agreement to divorce. While a joint application requires cooperation, you can apply on your own (sole application) if necessary.

The mandatory timeline

Every divorce must follow certain waiting periods:

• 20-week reflection period – after you apply, there’s a 20-week wait before you can move to the next stage
• 6-week wait for final order – after receiving your conditional order, you must wait at least 6 weeks and 1 day before applying to finalise the divorce

This means the absolute minimum time from application to divorce is about 26 weeks (6 months). In practice, most divorces take 7-12 months.

These waiting periods exist to give couples time to:

• Be sure they want to proceed
• Start discussing arrangements for finances and children
• Seek mediation or legal advice if needed

What the court will and won’t decide

The court handles:

• Legally ending your marriage (granting the divorce)
• Approving financial settlements (making consent orders)
• Deciding financial disputes if you can’t agree
• Making orders about children if parents can’t agree

The court expects you to:

• Try to reach agreement on finances and children outside court
• Attend mediation before applying to court for children or financial matters
• Be honest about your finances (full disclosure is legally required)
• Act reasonably in negotiations

The court’s role is largely to rubber-stamp agreements couples reach themselves. If you can agree, court involvement is minimal. Contested hearings only happen when agreement isn’t possible.

Common misconceptions

“The mother always gets the children”

Courts don’t favour either parent. Decisions about children are based on their welfare, not gender. Many children split time between both parents, and fathers regularly become the primary carer.

“Everything gets split 50/50”

While equal division is often the starting point, the final split depends on many factors including each person’s needs, earning capacity, contributions to the marriage, and the welfare of any children. Short marriages are treated differently from long ones.

“My spouse cheated so they’ll get less”

Under no-fault divorce, behaviour generally doesn’t affect financial settlements. Courts focus on needs and fairness, not punishing bad behaviour. Only in exceptional cases (extreme conduct that would be “inequitable to disregard”) does behaviour matter.

“I’ll lose everything if I leave the family home”

Leaving the home doesn’t affect your rights to it or its value. However, there are practical implications to consider, particularly if there are children. Get advice before making major decisions about where to live.

“We can sort everything out ourselves and save on lawyers”

You can certainly handle your own divorce application and reach agreements without solicitors. However, getting legal advice – even just a one-off consultation – helps ensure you understand your rights and don’t agree to something disadvantageous. At minimum, have a solicitor prepare your financial consent order.

Things to consider before starting

Timing

There’s rarely a “perfect” time to divorce, but consider:

• How starting proceedings might affect ongoing negotiations
• Whether a joint application (requiring cooperation) is realistic
• Any significant events coming up (children’s exams, job changes, etc.)
• Your emotional readiness to deal with paperwork and decisions

Safety

If there’s any risk of domestic abuse, plan carefully. Resources are available to help you leave safely, and special provisions exist in the divorce process for abuse survivors.

Finances

Understand your current financial position before you start:

• Joint bank accounts and debts
• The mortgage situation
• Any maintenance you might need or have to pay during proceedings
• How you’ll manage financially during the process

Children

Think about how to tell your children and what arrangements might work best for them. Children’s welfare should guide decisions, not adult conflict.

Getting the right support

Legal advice

Even if you handle much of the process yourself, a consultation with a family law solicitor can:

• Explain your rights and entitlements
• Identify issues you might not have considered
• Help you understand what’s realistic to expect
• Advise on the best approach for your situation

Mediation

A mediator helps you and your spouse reach agreements. It’s usually faster and cheaper than negotiating through solicitors, and far less expensive than court proceedings.

Emotional support

Divorce is emotionally challenging even when it’s the right decision. Consider counselling, support groups, or simply making sure you have friends and family to lean on.